What A Drag It Is Getting Old…
This is a “Guest Post” I wrote for blog called Menopausal Mother :
When I decided to do a guest post for Menopausal Mother back in July, Marcia said her first available slot would be October 15th which is today— and also, it’s her birthday.
I didn’t get Marcia a card, but if I did, this is what it would say:
Dear Marcia,
I’m super happy that you’re able to get a whole blog out of the menopause thing because from where I’m standing, it seems to pretty much SUCK.
Happy Birthday!!!
Ever since the day Marcia gave me my date, new and BAD things have been happening to my body. The changes are not life threatening, and they’re probably normal, but I wasn’t ready for them and they’re getting harder and harder to ignore. And it’s not just me. My friends are starting to complain that they, too, are going through the same things, and they insist it’s “Pre-Menopause.”
Here are some things about “Pre-Menopause” that I’m not loving so far:
The front runners, of course, are slowing metabolism, grey hair, irregular periods, the sprouting of facial lines and wrinkles, aching joints, the HUGE and painful cystic zit that only shows up right before something important, waking up in the middle of the night and then tossing and turning for at least 2 hours, and the embarrassingly elaborate routine that I must go through every morning of my life in order to “make a poopie!”
Some of those things started in my late 30’s, but new stuff keeps coming! Here are some of the things I’ve noticed since I entered my 40‘s:
1. My eyebrows are thinning. It seems every magazine I read lately says something about how too-thin eyebrows make you look older. I was obsessed with plucking for many years so my brow thinness is likely (mostly) my fault. I used to check my brows every day and if there was even one out of place, it was OUT.
I am now in “Plucking Recovery” (it’s been 3 weeks since my last pluck) and I’m kicking myself for all the damage I did. I wish I had put the tweezers down awhile ago because at this point (and this age) they’re not filling in so fast, if ever.
2. I wake up sweating my ass off. Some mornings I wake up and my hair is all wet and matted and curly. (I don’t have curly hair!) During the summer, I was blaming it on the heat and yes, since the weather has gotten cooler it hasn’t been happening as often, but a friend of mine told me the other day that it also happens to her so I have to wonder: Was it the summer heat or is my body starting to go through something? Is this a “THING” now? Please, no.
3. I’m always tired. In fact, a few weeks ago I even went to see an Endocrynologist (a hormone doctor). I had never heard of an Endocrynologist— I don‘t even know how to spell “Endocrynologist!” I was getting blood taken and I was telling the blood-taker lady that I have been tired lately, and it’s probably because I’m in my 40’s and I have little kids, but she got all up in my face telling me that I’m probably “perimenopausal.” (I had never heard of that before either and I remember being annoyed when she said it because it sounded like she was trying to be fancy.)
She was all “You’re having night sweats? You need to get a fan, immediately!” and I was right there with her, vehemently nodding my head because YES, she was so right!! I did need to get a fan!! But she wasn’t done. She went on to tell me that I should also get ready for unexplainable emotional outbursts. After that she said that even though I’m a sugar addict I shouldn’t eat ANY more sugar EVER because that only ignites the hormones. Then, as if that wasn’t enough (it was) she told me that when I eventually DO go through actual menopause, I shouldn’t even CONSIDER hormone replacements because they cause cancer and her friend got cancer and I will get cancer. I was like How in the hell did “Get a fan!” segue into “ You will get cancer!!”
ARGH!!! Let me go, blood-taker!!
The thing is, even though many of the changes that come with age are rough, it’s not all bad. As I have gotten older, I have found that when some things get worse, other things get better. I no longer get bothered by things that would have, once upon a time, consumed me—and many, many things I used to care about are no longer a concern. There is something very “freeing” about that. I do believe that comes with age and I’m grateful for it.
It’s truly all about the balance, and on this day, Marcia Kester Doyle, your birthday, you should be recognized and acknowledged for finding that balance and sharing it with others. Getting older is hard on all of us, but you make it little less daunting, and a lot more fun.
Happy, Happy Birthday!!
XOXO Robyn
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