Mailbag Monday! Toilets and Stop Signs

Welcome to the first ever installment of “Mailbag Monday!”

I thought it would be fun, on Mondays, to discuss topics or answer questions on anything. ANYTHING. One question or one topic a week, but for this week, I decided I would do two because they are both SUCH good questions and also, because they’re the only two people who responded: 

Why does the automated toilet flush as soon as you sit down?

It’s supposed to flush as soon as you get up, not sit down, so I don’t know what kind of party you’ve got going on in your stall, but I will say this: I hate those automatic flusher toilets. I like the kind that have the silver flusher that sticks out so you can just “kick” it down. Some people (my kids) touch it instead of kicking it. That’s gross. I would never touch it. It’s got toilet water sweating all over it and all kinds of other gross stuff. Kicking it is key.

Once, when F was a baby, probably 15 months or so, she and I met a girlfriend of mine for dinner. F decided to have a m”ASS”ive blowout as soon as the food arrived. I debated making her wait (I was really hungry) but the smell was so overpowering, I was starting to taste it in my food. I was a new mom (we had only adopted F a few months earlier) so even though there was probably a perfectly good baby changing station in the handicapped stall, I didn’t know that, so I placed her on the floor on her pink poopie pad and proceeded to clean up the rump dump. (I figured doing it bent over on the floor couldn’t be any worse than the some of the changings I had done in China. One of the restaurants there boasted a bathroom that was so gross, I took F back to our table, grabbed two chairs, placed them seat to seat and changed her right there, at our table.)


Anyway, back in the “nice stall,” I started to change F when all of the sudden, the toilet started flushing. We weren’t even on it. Over and over…FLUSH….FLUSH…FLUSH… loud and repetitive. Plus, toilet water was spraying me, some even hit me in the eye, but this poop, it was epic and it was taking FOREVER to clean so by the time I was done, I was soaked with toilet water and sweating my ass off. There was sweat between my boobs! When I finally stumbled, dazed and dizzy, out of that bathroom, I looked like someone had given me a swirley. I hate automatic flushers. Silver Kicker Flushers FOREVER!!


What is up with people at 4 way stop signs? Clearly most people did not learn to take turns as part of their childhood.

AGREE. There is a 4 way stop sign by my house; actually it’s only a 3 way—(3 way, hahaha!) Anyway, after almost 11 years of living there, I no longer pull up with high expectations. I trust no one. It’s Scammer Central.

We are supposed to TAKE TURNS. It’s not that hard. Whoever gets there first gets to go first, and then you go in order from there. In other words, if I’m Driver#2, Driver #3 better back the F up. Don’t try to steal my turn, pal. It’s Go-Time for ME, not you, so you best get comfortable. I also don’t like when Driver #3 starts going and then, oops, realizes that it’s really my turn (because I am also going) so then he gives me the “You can go” wave, like he’s doing me some big favor. Uh, I’m sorry, but it’s my turn, pal.  You can save your wave. You’re not doing me any favors; you just got busted is all. 

Sometimes a driver will start going and KEEP going even though we both know it’s not his turn. That’s not cool. Every once in awhile I roll my eyes and let it go, but most of the time, I go into righteous indignation mode and either lay on my horn or pull up just a little more to let them know I AM GOING and if they want to go too, they’re getting hit. BOOYA!

And those are my answers.

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