Mailbag Monday! Toilets and Stop Signs

Welcome to the first ever installment of “Mailbag Monday!”

I thought it would be fun, on Mondays, to discuss topics or answer questions on anything. ANYTHING. One question or one topic a week, but for this week, I decided I would do two because they are both SUCH good questions and also, because they’re the only two people who responded: 

Why does the automated toilet flush as soon as you sit down?

It’s supposed to flush as soon as you get up, not sit down, so I don’t know what kind of party you’ve got going on in your stall, but I will say this: I hate those automatic flusher toilets. I like the kind that have the silver flusher that sticks out so you can just “kick” it down. Some people (my kids) touch it instead of kicking it. That’s gross. I would never touch it. It’s got toilet water sweating all over it and all kinds of other gross stuff. Kicking it is key.

Once, when F was a baby, probably 15 months or so, she and I met a girlfriend of mine for dinner. F decided to have a m”ASS”ive blowout as soon as the food arrived. I debated making her wait (I was really hungry) but the smell was so overpowering, I was starting to taste it in my food. I was a new mom (we had only adopted F a few months earlier) so even though there was probably a perfectly good baby changing station in the handicapped stall, I didn’t know that, so I placed her on the floor on her pink poopie pad and proceeded to clean up the rump dump. (I figured doing it bent over on the floor couldn’t be any worse than the some of the changings I had done in China. One of the restaurants there boasted a bathroom that was so gross, I took F back to our table, grabbed two chairs, placed them seat to seat and changed her right there, at our table.)


Anyway, back in the “nice stall,” I started to change F when all of the sudden, the toilet started flushing. We weren’t even on it. Over and over…FLUSH….FLUSH…FLUSH… loud and repetitive. Plus, toilet water was spraying me, some even hit me in the eye, but this poop, it was epic and it was taking FOREVER to clean so by the time I was done, I was soaked with toilet water and sweating my ass off. There was sweat between my boobs! When I finally stumbled, dazed and dizzy, out of that bathroom, I looked like someone had given me a swirley. I hate automatic flushers. Silver Kicker Flushers FOREVER!!


What is up with people at 4 way stop signs? Clearly most people did not learn to take turns as part of their childhood.

AGREE. There is a 4 way stop sign by my house; actually it’s only a 3 way—(3 way, hahaha!) Anyway, after almost 11 years of living there, I no longer pull up with high expectations. I trust no one. It’s Scammer Central.

We are supposed to TAKE TURNS. It’s not that hard. Whoever gets there first gets to go first, and then you go in order from there. In other words, if I’m Driver#2, Driver #3 better back the F up. Don’t try to steal my turn, pal. It’s Go-Time for ME, not you, so you best get comfortable. I also don’t like when Driver #3 starts going and then, oops, realizes that it’s really my turn (because I am also going) so then he gives me the “You can go” wave, like he’s doing me some big favor. Uh, I’m sorry, but it’s my turn, pal.  You can save your wave. You’re not doing me any favors; you just got busted is all. 

Sometimes a driver will start going and KEEP going even though we both know it’s not his turn. That’s not cool. Every once in awhile I roll my eyes and let it go, but most of the time, I go into righteous indignation mode and either lay on my horn or pull up just a little more to let them know I AM GOING and if they want to go too, they’re getting hit. BOOYA!

And those are my answers.

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  1. Liz on July 7, 2014 at 11:25 am

    Belch, that toilet picture is going to give me nightmares! I seriously have nightmares about dirty bathrooms.
    And we have the opposite problem here. Everyone is so nice that they let the other person go even if it’s their turn. It drives me crazy. I’ll come to a four-way stop and someone else got there clearly far before I did, but they will still wave me to go. With a big smile. “Oh you just go on, I’m in no hurry and I’m such a nice person I’ll give you my turn. Really, I insist. Seriously, I’m not going to go until you take advantage of my self-rightness kindness and go first.” Grrrrr, just follow the rules, I don’t need you to be nice!! Oh, also, no one here can merge! I have seen people stop in the merge lane!! It’s crazy making!!
    Wow, apparently I have some pent up road rage.

    • Robyn on July 7, 2014 at 11:33 am

      Where do you live, Liz? I can never go there. I think I would lose my mind.

      You are always welcome to my 3 way stop sign though. 🙂 You’d get all of your aggression out in one day!!

  2. Liz on July 7, 2014 at 11:39 am

    Juneau, Alaska, land of the perpetually nice. It drives me up a wall!!

    • Robyn on July 7, 2014 at 1:09 pm

      Right!! I actually knew that. I remember that from a different post. I was going to ask you if it was like that show that used to be on TV but then I figured that everyone asks you that and it’s probably really annoying. The characters were total “characters.”

  3. Karin on July 7, 2014 at 12:28 pm

    Damn automatic toilets., Piper was freaked out about them till a few months ago… Seriously, potty training a kid and having them go off while the kids sitting there?! Kid screaming, crying, jumping off the toilet mid stream. She’s been using them for over two years and she’s finally used to them. THEY SUUUUUCK. Piper calls them “magic toilets”. She’ll walk into a bathroom and say ” YAY! The toilets aren’t magic!”… It keeps the others in the bathroom wondering what kind of mother I am that my kid gets excited about manual toilets!

    • Robyn on July 7, 2014 at 1:10 pm

      HAHAHAHA!! Magic Toilets! That is great, Karin. She would have had a total blast with me that day when I was stuck on the ground. The “magic” was everywhere!!!
      Always love hearing from you. Thank you for coming by!!!

  4. Eddie on July 7, 2014 at 7:00 pm

    Omg…your toilet story brought back such fond memories for me…Thailand…1992. I had just got off a 13 hour flight with my boy who was 17 months at the time. Bear in mind just before I got off the plane I was bombarded with warnings about watching for people who may want to plant drugs on me or possibly my child…wtf??? He needed his nappy changed so I proceeded towards the toilet…if you could call it that…to me it looked like the 7th circle of hell. Anyway I proceeded in, against my better judgement, decided to go nowhere near the ‘toilet’, the smell was incredible, and looked for a surface that wasn’t covered in something. I decided the bench near the sink looked like it might not contaminate him but under closer inspection what I had thought was water was actually urine…yes, wee on the bench. As I walked very, very quickly out of the bathroom a very dodgy man came up and asked if he could change my baby’s nappy. Now he might have just been a very helpful man (who am I kidding) but I ran the hell out of there like my ass was on fire and didn’t let my baby out of my arms for the whole 5hour stop over…pooey nappy and all…such a lovely memory…
    As for the stop sign situation…I reiterate the comment I made on fb a few weeks ago…if every other driver just realised how stupid they were and fix that, I would be fine.
    Love your work Robyn 🙂

    • Robyn on July 7, 2014 at 9:00 pm

      Eddie, I literally almost barfed from your story. I so know what that’s like though. I can’t say that about everything, but when it comes to being in a different country with crazy bathroom situations, I get it.

      It’s so weird though, I went from being totally grossed out to thinking that you seemed like the YUMMIEST mommy ever. Quite the spectrum in one comment. You definitely represent well. I loved reading every word of that comment. And then I busted out laughing at the end. You just seem so great to me. I am lucky to have you and I hope you come back soon. …”Like my ass was on fire…” HAHAHAHA!!! 🙂

  5. Sara on July 7, 2014 at 9:40 pm

    Omg so funny! Let’s talk about roundabouts

    • Robyn on July 7, 2014 at 10:01 pm

      Roundabouts scare me because I always think someone else is going to screw up!!

  6. Melanie on July 7, 2014 at 11:54 pm

    My friend’s daughter is so freaked out by auto-flush toilets that she carries a roll of electrical tape. She puts a piece of tape over the sensor “eye” to deactivate it! My friend carries several rolls of electrical tape in her purse because her little girl frequently loses a roll and she will not use a toilet unless it is disarmed.

    • Robyn on July 8, 2014 at 8:06 am

      Wow! That seems like a lot of work! I wonder if that is something she will grow out of. I’m sure as she gets older it won’t bother her as much. My kids have issues with the “Excalator” hand dryers. They are super loud and my kids jump around with their hands over their ears, hands that probably aren’t dry yet. 🙂

  7. Jill @ Ripped Jeans & Bifocals on July 8, 2014 at 5:06 am

    I do love a post about toilets – the squatty potty pic brought back some China memories, but that was a particularly nasty one. Blech.

    My daughter was terrified of automatic flushing toilets when she was about 5 or so. She would hold it FOREVER rather than use one. I thought it was just my kid. She is 22 and I still tease her about that.

    Mailbag Monday – how fun! I hope it takes off for you!

    • Robyn on July 8, 2014 at 8:08 am

      I mean…right, RJ&B? Who doesn’t like a little Monday potty talk? At least your kid could hold it at 5. JJ came in last night to tell me that she peed in her pants (again) because there is so much going on at camp that she doesn’t want to miss anything. Great… that will be AWESOME when she gets to Kindergarten. I’m going to have the kid that smells like pee.

      Love that you came by. Thank you!!!