The Adoption Label

“The Adoption Label”

A Dim Sum & Doughnuts Guest Post By: Marcie Reznik

the first label that was ever slapped on me, was the one at birth, that actually stuck with me all these 47 years later that identifies me as being adopted..the one I have actually carried around with me for all this time knowingly, that has never and will never be shaken off..being adopted has been for me personally, one of my biggest struggles, and also one of my greatest assets setting me apart from everybody else who is not..

there is a kinship that is linked to ADOPTED people, creating a tribe of our own..it has an unspoken union and understanding, no matter how our each individual story has played out into our journey..its a bond that is authentic, automatic while driven from the purest essence of being abandoned, and regifted all in the same breath..i know it sounds weird, but if you ask most adopted people, when they meet another adopted person, there is an automatic wall drop that allows them in without question, like a hall pass..

I’m not sure why this is, probably has to do with all the unconscious and energetic relationships flowing in the threads of our being, that those who have biological parents and family are not accustomed too..when we look into a mirror, we are BLANK, filled with unanswered questions that are either robbed of us, stolen from us, taken away from us, not allowed of us to have, breeding an insecurity that is harbored from all the hush hush to our natural biological DNA kinda truth that we are not privy to.

imagine if you can for a moment, being a shell of a being, with somebody else’s story being filled within , while our personal story is sealed in a manila folder labeled with a number or a biological name never to be opened again unless with a court’s permission..imagine not ever being able to know the essence of who you are and the everybody else attached to your lineage ..it has never been about the people who adopted me and gave me this life, its about the life inside my soul and the nature to our human curiosity of where i came from and the basic understanding principals of WHO I AM..

most adopted children don’t speak about their true desires of wanting to know their truth out of fear of not wanting to hurt and jeopardize the relationship with their adopted family..even if they are asked will most times hesitate out of fear that there is something wrong with wanting to know, so it gets squashed and shoved way down into the crevice of an undisclosed place..there are many levels and layers of emotions attached to this label that we carry heavily, and the price tag of that heavy GIFT for somebody else’s happiness are sometimes really big shoes to fill..

I remember as a kid how hard it was to be adopted and feel different, especially when I was told my parents weren’t “real” parents..it was a difficult time for me growing up, especially when I was reminded that I my family wasn’t my real family..kids were cruel and nasty making fun of me and the fact that  I was abandoned by a mother who didn’t love me or want me..that was an instrumental factor in my insecurities and my ability to create a force of cold over my wounded spirit..

while I am not on the receiving side of this beautiful precious gift and can’t begin to understand the dynamics of its energy attached to it, I was the one however being abandoned for reasons as a child I could never understand..was I not good enough, was I a mistake, is my blood bad, am I worthless enough to be thrown away, am I unlovable, why didn’t they want me, are just some of the thoughts and feelings that surround our precious state of mind..

labels are sometimes transformed into titles, and if you can see the beauty of your birth, and the preciousness within your soul, and find comfort in those who are part of your tribe, there is a way to heal and move past the words that people use as a past adjective to continue to describe you in the present..

find the love that is unconditional within your own spirit and create a way to find your personal truth in the family that adores you..we are a special group of people who are sensitive and unique within the separateness that society seems to box us in..be proud of who you are today, and may the threads of your mind, body and spirit continue to heal the center of your heart..from one heart of an adopted soul to another, peace love faith hope.

**********************

If you’d like to read more from Marcie, check out her blog: MagicalMaven

Thanks for being here!

The DS&D Crew

4 Comments

  1. Susan Bosse on November 7, 2016 at 12:12 am

    I hope my boys do not have those same sad feelings that Marcie has. I never think of them as my ‘adopted’ children..they are my kids, my family, the purest love in my life.
    This post made me feel so sad…such an empty place inside her to fill. I hope she finds a place of love within which to dwell.



    • Robyn on November 7, 2016 at 10:11 pm

      I felt the same as you when I read this piece, Susan! EXACTLY the same! But then I went into the other room and my girls were doing homework together, laughing about something, and I felt better. I think it’s different for everyone and I like to think that my daughter, and your boys, won’t feel like this. But if they do, on some days, it will be natural, and hopefully, temporary.
      Thank you for being here. This comment made me feel better today!
      XOXO Robyn



  2. Kristen @ HopingForAHarvey.com on November 13, 2016 at 2:19 pm

    Such a heartbreaking but eye-opening post. As a waiting potential adoptive mom, I hope my future children will see “adopted” as a one-time verb, not an adjective describing who they are.



    • Robyn on November 16, 2016 at 10:11 am

      Your future children WILL see “adopted” as a one-time verb, Kristen, because that’s how you will raise them. It won’t be all of who they are, just a part of who they are. Please keep in touch and let us know when your big day comes! So excited for you!! Love that you’re here!
      XO Robyn