You’re Not Alone (VII)

I’m not saying these are all about me. I’m just saying if you feel the same, or you have done it too, you’re not alone.

You’re not alone if…

1. You want to eat an entire tub of cool whip or fudge or frosting or pretty much anything.

2. Some days you just hate everyone.

3. When your kid says “Mommy, did you see that? Wasn’t that great?” and you lie, about both.

4. You waste money on the dumbest stuff, but you’ll save a used tea bag for like 3 weeks

5. You get irritated when your kid leaves the dinner table to go to the bathroom because she is taking FOREVER, but when you ask “What is going on in there…??“ she exclaims  “I’m pooping!” so you feel bad for rushing her, but still—she’s taking forever, so now not only do you have to wait for her to finish pooping, but when she comes back you’ll have to wait for her to finish dinner. And you’re done eating, and there are cupcakes, and you want them.

6. If laundry is no longer split into “Darks” and “Lights.” It’s all just laundry and it’s lucky that it’s getting done at all!

7. You want to text your kid because you totally just thought of something that you HAVE to tell her, but then you realize that she doesn’t have a phone because she is 7.

8. You choose to believe that your kid’s persistence will serve her well in the future instead of just admitting to yourself that she could just end up “annoying.”

9. You blast your favorite song whenever it comes on and no one in the car is allowed to talk to you.

10. You make your kids order something because you want it.

11. An hour seems like a minute when you’re with someone you really like, but a minute seems like an hour when it’s someone you can’t stand.

12. You have already gone so long without washing your hair that you contemplate going for a world record.

13. You have to tuck your stomach into your jeans when you’re driving.

14.You love your husband or partner (or whatever you have) except when he comes home early. He’s all happy to be home, but really, what he is, is in the way.

15. You want to, at times, tell your child, who you love more than life, to SHUT THE F**K UP. But you can’t do that. Can you?





Thanks for being here!

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  1. Jillian on May 21, 2014 at 6:00 am

    These are the best! I absolutely love your blog. Also, I love Haim. I just saw them this past weekend actually and they were AMAZING and so very fun. How about…you’re not alone if you manage to get a paper cut on your tongue from desperately eating the last of your little cup thing of rice pudding? God, I hope I’m not alone on that one. Embarrassing.

    • Robyn on May 21, 2014 at 9:56 am

      I’m going to order the CD today because of you! I’m so glad you are here! You totally GET IT!!!! 🙂 If you get the rice pudding ever, please let me know. I have to know how much you love it!!

  2. Robyn on May 21, 2014 at 7:07 am

    Best way EVER to kick off a post!! Thank you, Jillian!!

    Haim was good? I only know that one song but I love it!! I had to look up whether it was a guy or girl singing when I first heard it. I couldn’t tell. (Weird, right?)

    And just so you know, I would do the same thing for rice pudding. If you live in Detroit area, I can tell you where to get THE BEST rice pudding of your life (not kidding). Athens Souvlaki on the corner of 11 and Lahser. It’s in a strip mall. Best food you’ll have ever and their rice pudding is ridiculous. Also, Market Fresh (on 13 and Southfield) sells really good rice pudding. I forgot the name of it but it’s made in Michigan and it only has like 4 ingredients in it and they’re all natural.

    In other words, I’m right there with you, sister.
    So happy to have you here. I hope you tell some friends about us and I hope you come back! 🙂

    • Jillian on May 21, 2014 at 9:36 am

      Haim was GREAT. They’re 3 badass sisters that are incredibly talented and have a fun 80s vibe. Check out their whole debut album, Days Are Gone, if you get a chance. 🙂 And YAY, I do live in the Detroit area so I’ll check out those rice pudding places for sure—and hopefully avoid a food related injury this time around. I’ll tell all my friends about this hilarious and relatable blog! Thanks!! :o)

  3. Sharon DW on May 21, 2014 at 8:42 am

    What about when your teenager says, “So can I go mom?” and you say, “Sure…” and then when she bounces out of the house heading for the car you yell, “Wait – where are you going!!” because you weren’t really listening anyway.

    • Robyn on May 21, 2014 at 9:32 am

      Perfect, Sharon!! That is perfect! I feel like that is half my day with my kids… “Mom, can I…? “Yes…wait, WHAT??” Good one! You’re a smartie. I love it!!! And you!

  4. Amy on May 21, 2014 at 9:45 am

    I can definitely relate to a few of those! And to expand on the stomach one with my own stomach/jean dilemmas.

    … you have to unbutton your jeans while at the movies cause you ate too much popcorn / drank to much soda and who cares? It’s dark, no one will see. Once the movie ends, you stand up, and forget you unbuttoned your jeans 😉

    (PS. Definitely not alone in blasting ‘The Wire’)

    • Robyn on May 21, 2014 at 9:58 am

      OMG, Amy!! Hilarious! You did not forget to button your jeans back up! That is great (I mean not for you, but so funny…) I can relate. I just wrote in a recent post about how my girls put a ton of make-up on me and I totally forgot so I had a whole conversation with a neighbor my face looked ridiculous.

      …and “The Wire” so good, right?? Love it!! And I love that you commented. I’m glad you are here and I hope you come back! 🙂

  5. Sara on May 21, 2014 at 10:28 am

    Love it! I turn my head and mouth w no sound shut the f$?k up all the time! I’m not alone, right?

    • Robyn on May 21, 2014 at 10:36 am

      Right there with you, sister. Right there with you… 🙂

  6. Erika on May 21, 2014 at 1:08 pm

    You nailed this one, Robyn!

    • Robyn on May 21, 2014 at 2:41 pm

      I am so happy to hear from you, Ericka!
      Do you think it’s OK? I can’t tell. I thought it was all so true but it doesn’t seem to be landing well. The comments are awesome but numbers are low. I don’t get it. I don’t get people. 🙂 I’m so happy you like it though. Because I know you and if you like it, that just makes me feel better. You came in at the perfect time. THANK YOU!!!!!
      XOXOO Are you coming or not this summer? what’ s the deal with that? I hope you are but totally get if you can’t.

  7. Monica on May 21, 2014 at 1:16 pm

    Have I ever told you how fabulous I think you are? If not please let me tell you that I think you are do beautiful, funny, smart, and tremendously talented (I’m holding in my stomach as I write this). I laughed out loud reading your post while under the drier getting naturally blonder. Thanks for the enjoyable read!!! Xo

    • Robyn on May 21, 2014 at 2:46 pm

      Monica!! I am flat out crying. BITCH. Today was a day when I for real got dressed. I showered, make up, hair, everything and now it’s all getting ruined. Because of YOU!!! 🙂 wait. 🙁

      YOu are amazing. I’m not fixing that “O” over there.I know it’s not supposed to be capitalized though. I just came in to check on blog and I need time for a mani, bad. My nails are HIT. You would not be happy with me. I’m letting myself go. Only little things though. I’m still ON the big stuff. But if you start to see that I’m lacking, you need to tell me. I would only listen to you. If you notice, I need to know. Help me.

      Anyway, thank you! The numbers on this one are low but the comments are making me so happy. I wasn’t sure if I should do these. i like them too so thank you SO much. I LOVE YOU.
      thank you!!!

  8. "Julia" on May 21, 2014 at 1:27 pm

    So…a few weeks ago, I heard, “Mom? Can we use the vaccuum cleaner?” I wasn’t really listening, then I thought L & N decided to clean upstairs. Without really thinking about it I said yes. Then I heard “Uh oh…” I ran upstairs to find stuffed toys ripped apart like Jack The Ripper had been in my house, and about 10 million (no exaggeration) little bead were all over the carpet.. They thought they could clean it up without me knowing. The vacuum overheated (that was the “Uh oh”).

    Last time I give a “sure…no problem” without knowing what is really going on!

    Love the post. Relates to so much of me! Except the tucking in my tummy while driving. Sometimes it’s easier to just let it all hang out…

    • Robyn on May 21, 2014 at 2:51 pm

      Oh, look who came to join the party??? Julia is here! Hi JULIA. Did you hear the Pearl Jam song yesterday? I thought of you. you know I did. i haven’t even read your comment yet. i just saw your name. this might not even be the right Julia! Hold on.

      No, it’s the right one. L and N. OK. have to finish now.

      i love them. i miss you!!!!

      of course you let it hang out. i love that about you. and of course i tuck mine in.
      thank you for loving me for who i am. you love pop tarts.

  9. katie zack on May 21, 2014 at 5:10 pm

    i know im def not alone in:

    loving Rick Astley songs
    wearing last nights eyeliner,this morning.
    (only after late nights)
    telling my significant other that MY way of doing things is just better.

    Such a goodie Robyn…….xx

    • Robyn on May 21, 2014 at 5:45 pm

      Never gonna let you go…never gonna let you down.

      He had another hit too but it sounded exactly the same, right?? Hi Katie!! I do the eyeliner thing too. I used to do it all the time but now I try not to do it as much. It wasn’t even because of late nights. I just didn’t want to deal with taking it off, and also, I looked so much better when I woke up.

      makes me happy to hear from you. I always hope that you will make it around. You’re like Bendel to me. Shiny and pretty. even when you don’t feel good 🙁 I’m pulling for you. Know that!!

  10. Ann Collins on May 21, 2014 at 5:30 pm

    Love the blog.. laughed out loud..I was in the ‘waiting room’ while the car was having an oil change,and surprised at the sound…fortunately I was alone 😉 I write things on the calendar and forget to look at them and have missed things and been double booked..Oh well you know that saying ‘yes’ without thinking what the question was can get you into all kinds of trouble,and not just with the children 🙂 keep up the writing !! <3

    • Robyn on May 21, 2014 at 5:47 pm

      Ann!! I love that this made you laugh! I know that you remember all this stuff and even better, you’re still doing it (some of it). It’s so great that you can smile about this stuff. it shows that you have led a fun and happy life and you don’t take stuff too seriously. You are so great and I love that Georgia sent you to me. (We still call her that and we always will.) 🙂
      XOXOXOXO !!!!!

  11. Megan on May 24, 2014 at 10:58 am

    This is GREAT!! All so very, very true! 😉

    • Robyn on May 25, 2014 at 7:19 am

      Megan!! Thank you! I’m so happy you came by. I just went to your blog too. I love the ideas you have for Father’s Day! (Thank you…I will be using one of them for sure.)

      Thank you again for coming by and commenting. I’m so happy I could make you smile. I hope you come back soon!