Posts by adminmph
Backstory: Part 2
If you haven’t read Part 1 of “Backstory,” you might want to read that first so you know what the hell I’m talking about: ********** Cody left. It was time to go. Camp prep waits for no one and it was imperative that my husband be there. Tis the season. We may not have had…
Read MoreBackstory: Our Road To Adoption
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When my husband, Cody, and I first decided to start a family, our intention was to have one and adopt one. In that order. Adoption was not a back up plan, it was part of the plan. Once we made our decision, I was ready to go. That’s how I am. Give me the green light and I’m off and running.
After three months, I wasn‘t pregnant. [Side note: I am aware that it’s no longer politically correct to phrase it like that. I believe that the current correct terminology is to say: After three months, WE weren’t pregnant, but I won’t say it like that because it wasn’t we, it was ME. When I see a man waddling around in an overpriced empire waist pregnancy top with boobs the size of a cantaloupes, a stomach the size of a basketball and an ass the size of a Rhode Island, I’ll be happy to refer to getting pregnant as we, but until then, it was me].
Read MoreTransitions and Make-Overs
My husband, Cody, owns an overnight camp for kids in Northern Michigan. It’s called Camp Tanuga. Cody and our stubby-tail Golden Retriever, Floyd, have been there for several weeks. Under normal circumstances, Sweet Pea, Lovey and I would be there too, but we’re running a little late this year.
Soon enough, though, I’ll be packing up my girls, my office and my Bendel bracelets to make our summer move.
Read MoreWas Your TV Show Canceled?
Were any of your TV shows canceled?
I’ll go first.
Brothers and Sisters: It was time. I don’t think I saw one episode from this past season. I’m not sure why. Oh, wait. I remember now. It sucked. That show was done awhile ago. What was up with the Sarah sister hooking up with the guy from…? I don’t even know where he was from. All I know is that they had no chemistry and the whole relationship was stupid. Even if you loved that show, you have to admit that relationship was all kinds of wrong and the show stunk worse than a dressing room at Loehmann’s. Rob Lowe was such a smartie to jump ship when he did. It’s like they didn’t know what to do with him. They made him really mean, and then nice again, and then he died. Good for him. Death was the right choice. He’s rocking it out over at Parks and Recreation and every time he says “litrally,” he “litrally” makes me giggle.
The Defenders: I’m not going to lie. I liked it. I did. It was a CBS show. Does that make me a senior citizen? Should I get one of those bathing suit cover ups with the bikini printed on it? Should I run out and buy some coral lipstick and matching coral nail polish on the way to my early bird dinner? I know that‘s what you‘re thinking. I don’t care. I liked that show, and I’m sad to see it go.
Read MoreOde To Prednisone
A Little Poem…
I have lower back pain, and although I try to deal
It makes for a rough day and I miss shoes with a heel.
Look at that, time for another pill
I’m starting to look like Ryan O’Neal.
I think that I am no longer making sense
Time to put this stupid poem to rest.
For my back discomfort I blame my dad
It’s a problem he always had.
If it’s in the genes, then I have no fear
for my kid from China–she’s probably in the clear.
You know what? That’s so not fair
She already has great hair.
Are We Closing The Book On Bookstores?
The movie You’ve Got Mail (1998) was primarily about love blooming over the internet even though the lead characters were business rivals in real life. It also explored the demise of the independent book store at a time when “mega” bookstores were first starting to take over. It’s a solid example of art imitating life. Borders and Barnes & Noble bookstores were popping up all over the place, king kong’ing many (if not all) of the small, local bookstores that stood in their way.
I remember getting angry as Meg Ryan’s character walked through the “Fox Books” super bookstore. It was a big store and, to me, uninviting. Sure, it boasted nice discounts, fancy coffee drinks and more variety, but it lacked the charm and warmth of “The Shop Around The Corner.“ I pointed at that “Fox Books“ and thought to myself: You big bully bookstores! You just wait. You’ll get yours one day!
Well, I think that day is here.
Read MoreHello? Is I.P. Freeley Home?
The other day I got a text from my cousin, “Gisele” (I wonder why she picked that blog name?) and she said that her son just learned the following tune from one of his friends: “Milk, milk, lemonade–around the corner fudge is made!”
Did you sing that when you were a kid? I did. In fact, I used to sing it with Gisele. It was a good song; I might start singing it again. We also used to do “Me Chinese, me play joke, me go pee pee in your coke” but that one is off limits because I have a daughter from China and she is, for the most part, potty trained. In any event, that little fudge packing ditty prompted me to start thinking about all the fun things Gisele and I used to do.
We spent many Saturday nights with a bowl of cheetos, the White Pages and a phone. What else did we need? We weren’t sitting on opposite ends of the couch playing some handheld video game with different colored bricks all by ourselves–no we were not. If we weren’t yelling “You sunk my battleship!” or beating each others asses at Connect 4, we were making phony phone calls and we were doing it together.
Read MoreHappy Mother’s Day
Today is Mother’s Day. It’s a very special day in which we honor mothers, grandmothers and stepmothers–unless you’re a wicked stepmother and then you don’t get honored, but you do get representation in almost every Disney movie.
On this day, I’d like to take a moment to wish one mother in particular a very Happy Mother’s Day: Sweet Pea’s birth mother. (Sorry, mom, I know you thought it was going to be you. You’re good too. Bang up job on both of your kids, really nice work).
I don’t know the circumstances surrounding Sweet Pea’s birth mother’s decision to give up her daughter. Maybe she was waiting for a son. Maybe she already had a child and the one child rule in China prevented her from having another. Maybe she wasn’t married. I don’t know. I just know that a very selfless mother in a country very far away brought my child into this world and I imagine this day can’t be easy for her.
Read MoreBaby, It’s Cold Outside
I was at lunch the other day with my girlfriend, Busy, and as the hostess was seating us, she and Busy simultaneously started complaining about the weather. It was unseasonably cold that day and they had every right to complain. The thing is, the hostess started to tell us that she had a friend who was vacationing in Florida (I don’t remember all the details because I was way more interested in looking over the menu so I could feed my fat face) and she was hoping that her friend would bring some good weather back with her. Stop right there.
Let me repeat: She was hoping that her friend would bring some good weather back with her.
Read MoreYou’re Not Alone (V)
I’m not saying these are all about me. I’m just saying if you feel the same way, you’re not alone. You’re not alone if… 1. You don’t belong to a country club. Find a friend who does though! That way you get to have all the fancy fun with none of the demanding dues. 2. You can’t fold a…
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