Baby, It’s Cold Outside

I was at lunch the other day with my girlfriend, Busy, and as the hostess was seating us, she and Busy simultaneously started complaining about the weather. It was unseasonably cold that day and they had every right to complain. The thing is, the hostess started to tell us that she had a friend who was vacationing in Florida (I don’t remember all the details because I was way more interested in looking over the menu) and she was hoping that her friend would bring some good weather back with her. Stop right there.

She was hoping that her friend would bring some good weather back with her.

NO ONE IS BRINGING WEATHER HOME WITH THEM.

You can’t bring weather anywhere. It’s impossible. You may be a mother, but you’re not Mother Nature. You can bring a t-shirt. You can bring a sea shell (but not for me, thanks). You can even bring a little bag of pretzels if you’re lucky enough to get some on your flight, but no one is bringing back weather.

No one is ever allowed to ever say that ever again.

For real.

Thanks for being here!

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