Fork in the Road

Last week someone asked me if I’m scared that I will run out of things to write about. I think you will find, after reading the following entry, that there is no chance of that happening. The philosophical questions below are just a sample of what goes through my head on a daily basis (usually when I should be working or paying attention to my kids).
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You’re having a bunch of family and friends over for a holiday dinner, is it better to get your carpet cleaned before the dinner (so it will look all nice and pretty), or should you wait until after since the percentage of someone spilling something is somewhere around 100 percent?

It was a fun night and you got home late. It’s way past bedtime for your little one. Normally you brush her teeth after she has a bottle because you’re supposed to. (Something about milk doing bad things to the teeth, I don’t know). She’s tired though and so are you. Do you skip the teeth for one night knowing they’re the dress rehearsal teeth, or do you power through and brush them?

You’re at the grocery store and one of the items you buy all the time is on sale. 10 for $10.00. Wow. That‘s pretty good, but who needs 10? 10 is a lot. It’s not like you won’t use them eventually, but 10? I don’t know…it’s a lot, but it is a good deal.

Emptying the dishwasher is such a pain. Is it better to clean the dishes and put them away as you go, or go the dishwasher route and put them all away at once? If you say “Oh, I would FOR SURE wait and do them all at once.” I’d like to know if you’re still saying that while you’re the one who’s stuck unloading.

Your kids likes gum. Is sugarless gum the way to go or do you give him gum with sugar? If he eats gum with sugar, his teeth will rot. If he eats sugarless gum, there are a lot of ingredients that start with “X.” His teeth will look really good but he might end up with a third eye.

You’re not in the mood to talk to the person who is calling you. In fact, you’re really not in the mood to talk to anyone. Do you let the messages pile up, or do you just answer so you don’t have to listen to all of your voice mails and then call everyone back later?

Halfway to the market you realize that you forgot your “Go Green” bags. Curses!! Do you risk the dirty looks and possible harm you’re going to cause the planet by choosing paper or plastic, or do you turn around, go back home and emit more gas and carbon dioxide into the atmosphere? (I think it’s carbon dioxide that comes out of cars. I’m not really sure. I just know it’s bad).

Your kid wears pull-ups during nap time and when she goes to sleep. She just fell asleep on the couch, but you weren‘t expecting it so she‘s not wearing any pull-ups. Do you chance it and hope for the best, or do you wake her ass up so you’re not stuck cleaning the pee pee?

Is it better to pick up after your kids as they make a mess or wait until the whole house is completely trashed and then just do it all at once?

You’re in the bathroom and after you are done, you happen to notice that you’re getting dangerously low on toilet paper. Of course there is more, but it‘s not within reach. Do you go get it and restock the bathroom, or do you risk it and wait for someone else in your family to hopefully take care of it?

Forget it. I can answer that one myself.

Thanks for being here!

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5 Comments

  1. Anonymous on March 24, 2011 at 9:07 am

    OMG yes! SO TRUE. 🙂 🙂



  2. Anonymous on March 24, 2011 at 10:44 am

    I also agree very true



  3. Jamie on March 24, 2011 at 11:49 am

    You brush your little one's teeth?!

    I give the big one gumballs. They have awesome containers of these in the Target candy aisle.

    Put a towel down on the kid's bed- mantra: never wake a sleeping child! – so if she pees it's NBD.

    Re: the "green" bags– have you read recent studies about the bacteria that develops in them? I mean, you are now supposed to WASH them which in my view, means that you waste too much water and time so I say have them bag the groceries up in paper and recycle 🙂



  4. jet on March 24, 2011 at 3:45 pm

    When you buy icecream, do you run home to get there as fast as you can, risking more friction and more warmth or you you walk slow to get less friction so your ice keeps cooler.



  5. Tera on March 26, 2011 at 12:17 am

    Hilarious!
    I hope you don't mind me referencing your last post! I was wondering what the etiquite is on that but I figured as long as I just directed to your site, it should be ok? 🙂 You are a talented writer.