Mailbag Monday! How To Find Downtime And Deal With Sucky People

Mailbag Monday #6! I picked two topics/questions for this installment. Feel free to agree, disagree or add on because we all know I have no business answering questions from anyone, but you asked! Also, I apologize for being a day late. Life happens, as you know, and sometimes we have to stop everything to acknowledge the importance and pay homage.

Here we go, yo:

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How Do I Find Time For Me?

-Most of us are mothers, daughters, friends, work colleagues etc…so much of our life is spent fitting into one of these roles. What do you have in your life that is just for Robyn? I’m interested as I don’t know what I have in my life that’s just for me…and I would like to find it. 

A bit deep but there you have it.

This question was actually sent in a few months ago. It has taken me awhile to figure out an answer, but I got it. The thing I have in my life that is just for me is “downtime.” We were on vacation once with a bunch of other families, and everybody was set to go on some kind of outing but I opted out. I needed a break. I figured it was the perfect time to steal for myself because everyone else would be gone. My girlfriend who is a few years older (and much wiser) called me out and nodded approvingly because she understood—she needs “downtime” too.

The problem: Life isn’t a vacation, so it’s hard to find time for downtime. There just isn’t enough to go around.

For those of us with families, by the time we are done doing everything we need to do for them, there is a still a bunch of other stuff hanging over our heads that needs to be done—either in the house or with our jobs outside. It’s always something, and the pile doesn’t EVER seem to ever get smaller.

So, how do you fit downtime into that hot mess?

You schedule it. I know it sounds dumb to “schedule” downtime, but for me, if it’s not on the calendar like an APPOINTMENT, there’s a good chance it’s not happening. Ever.

If it’s part of the schedule though, that’s different. It’s ON the calendar.

The thing is, you have to honor the commitment. You can’t blow off and resched because something else comes up. “Downtime,” is what’s up.

We need to take care of ourselves, or how can we take care of everyone and everything else?

Schedule the downtime. Make it “Me Time.” Pick something you are dying to do. You might want an hour to binge watch your fave TV show. Maybe you want a massage (yes), or one hour with no one in your face to sit with 10 fashion mags and a fat ass cup of coffee?

Whatever it is, schedule it. Get it on the calendar. …If you do, I will too.

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How To Deal With A Sucky Person At A Party

–My name is B. I have a wedding shower coming up for one of my best friends and I am at odds with one of the girls who will be there. I don’t like her and I don’t trust her. I have my reasons. My friend likes her I don’t know why but she does. I don’t want to be fake when I see her but I also don’t want her to think we will ever be friends. What do you say?

I say, be thankful it’s a party. You can move around. It’s not like you’re stuck with JUST her in an elevator or something. You can keep moving.

The feeling of hypocrisy will nag at you for a minute, because it sounds like you want that girl to know how you feel, (I get it—I want EVERYONE in the world to know how I feel) but you can’t. You gotta suck it up. And who knows? She may not like you either. She probably doesn’t, so it’s not like she’s going to follow you as you walk away.

Be gracious and be nice. It only takes a few seconds to smile and ask how they are, and then you can hit the bricks. It’s like getting a shot: quick and painful. But after it’s done, you’re free to move on.

Plus, if it’s a good party, there will be cake so, if you feel yourself starting to bubble over, just grab a piece of cake and shove it in your mouth.

Save me some—end piece if it’s available.

That should do it! Hope I did OK and didn’t F up your lives!

You can send in “Mailbag Monday” questions or topics anytime to robyn@dimsumanddoughnuts.com or any of the links below.

Thank you so much for being here!