Belly Hurts

My youngest daughter, Lovey, is currently due for her 2-year-old check up. The doctor’s office is in Petoskey, a cute little town in northern Michigan about 45 minutes away from camp, so I decided to make a day of it.

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The Thing About Play Dates…

The term “play date” has always been of interest to me. There aren’t many like it in the English language. It’s really the only term I can think of that is filled with formality, necessity and stupidity all at the same time.

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Ode to Camp

I thought I’d write a poem about camp, Because my “real life” job is slow this week. I refer to the campers, but don‘t get too excited– As usual, it’s mostly about me. I like to visit the younger boys when I can And they’re always happy to see me, As long as I show…

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You’re Not Alone (VI)

I’m not saying these are all about me. I’m just saying if you feel the same way, you’re not alone. You’re not alone if… 1. You love saying “Bless Your Heart” to people and you don’t live in the south. 2. You are convinced that Justin Bieber’s famous haircut is just a “bowl cut” with…

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If Lady Gaga Had Been A Camper

I have heard people say that Lady Gaga is this generation’s Madonna. Is she? Regarding the music, Lady Gaga seems to shine when she’s singing and also when she’s sitting at the piano. Madonna’s vocal range is fairly limited and I don’t think she can play an instrument. But where fashion is concerned—take a seat, Gaga.…

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Don’t Be A Tease

Everyone is teasing me lately, and I don’t like it one bit. I was out for dinner recently and when the server went over the specials, I picked one that sounded dee-lish. I was very excited for my dinner because I look forward to my feeding time much in the same way a hippo does. When…

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10 Things No One Gives A Crap About On Facebook

  10 Things No One Gives A Crap About On Facebook 1. You‘re scrolling through your Facebook News Feed and you come to my status. It says: I’m at the movies! Would you care? No, you would not. No one does. How about this one: I’m at the movies with Eminem! You might care a little bit, but now I’m just bragging (and lying).…

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Camp: Opening Day

The busses came rolling in around 11:30 this morning. Kids ranging in age from 6 to 15 came barreling out one by one to a singing, cheering, clapping group of high energy staff members holding up painted signs signifying cabin assignments. The returning campers were “home”–hugging the staff they remembered from last summer and excited…

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First Words

If you have a kid who is just learning to talk and you’re pushing for the kid to learn the word “Mama” or “Daddy,” stop what you’re doing and read my words first. Forget “Mama” and “Daddy.” Your kid will learn those words soon enough and after they say it 50 times in a row  (in…

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On Turning 40

I turned forty last week. That used to seem so old to me. Forty. I don’t feel old though. At least not in the head I don’t. It’s not like I woke up on my fortieth birthday and instantly started referring to The Salon as The Beauty Shop; I didn’t grab a Redbook, throw on a housecoat and…

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